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Since this is a very important topic and I like to cover it in detail, I will be spliting the topic into various parts.  Each part will be released at regular interval and will be a sequence to the previous part.  Here is the part 1 of the topic.

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“You work late every night. You came back burnt out at night, and too tired to spent time with your kid or wife. And one day, you came to your house to see a slip from your wife. “Honey, I am leaving, taking the kids with me. ”

“You didnt take time to maintain your car, and now you’re sitting by the side of road with your car broken down”

“You had all the time to study for your GMAT or GRE, and yet, you didn’t study well - making yourself busy with other non-priority activities, and you didn’t get admission to your dream university”

If You Keep On Doing What You’ve Always Done, You will Keep Getting What You’ve Always Got

If we are not happy in our life - we have a big list of people to blame. Our parents, our bosses, our friends, media, coworkers, our spouse, the weather, economy, our lack of money. The list goes on and on. Is this really true ?

We never look at where the real problem is : Ourself. The one person responsible for the quality of the life you live - is YOU.

It is time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of life you lead and the results you produce. To achieve major success in life - to achieve those things that are most important to you - you must assume 100% responsibility for your life.

Our current condition is created by us, we can uncreate them and re-create them at will. For that, we have to take 100% responsibility for our life.

If you want to create the life of our dreams, then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life as well. We have to give up all our excuses, all the victim stories and everything that you blame outside YOU.

You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired result. If you had failed to take that power - it doesn’t matter. The past is past.  All that matters now is that from this point forward you choose - yes, you choose to take 100% responsible for everything that does or doesn’t happen to you.

Look at the above diagram. There is a “Stimulus” and there is a “Response”. And between them, there is “Our freedom to choose”. Our freedom to choose decide the response for an action, and that response decides our life.

Steven covey tells this as the fundamental for being Proactive in life .

Jack Canfield, in his book “The success principles” talks about the below equation :

E  + R = O

(Event + Response = Outcome)

Any outcome we experience (whether it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event or events in our life. If we don’t like our Outcome, we change our Response to the Event.

We have to give up blaming. We have to give up complaining.  Successful people learn to replace complaining with taking action that will achieve their outcome. That is what works.  If you find yourself in a situation you don’t like, either work to make it better or leave. Agree to work on your relationship or get a divorce.  Work to improve your work condition or find a new job.

You have to give up the excuses and justifications and come to terms with the results you are producing. The only thing that will change your results is to change your behavior. Look for habits that will make great improvement to your life.

Ask these to yourself : ” How am I creating or allowing this to happen ? What am I doing that’s working that I need to be doing more of ? What am I doing that is not working that I need to be doing less of ? What is the change I need to make in my life, that will give me the life I desire and the success I dream ?“

The World Doesn’t Owe You Anything. You Have To Create It.

Coming next in the series: Keeping track of your self-talk words

Stay tuned..